She is always deleting pictures of her ex-husband.
She is deleting songs she performed with her ex-husband.
But there is just one problem. Her son.
Her 5-year old is always in the picture or his voice is always in the background of songs in her head. Her son is always in her ex’s face and the latter exhibits himself confidently in her son’s eyes, cheeks, and smile. Sons always look like their fathers, but she will make sure he doesn’t become him.
She muttered under her breath while struggling with a decision to delete one of the pictures that has her husband carrying her son and waving to the camera.
Every time she finishes a chapter of her life, she sticks a one-word description tag to it. Why do we always add a post-it note on our memories wall with a commentary or a judgment?
So what if people used to be nice, but they are not anymore? We still shared treasured moments.. moments when life stood still and passion was a driving force. People are not inherently bad. Essentially, it is claimed that all deeds are committed for a good cause, yet we still categorize ourselves and others.
The law of existence is change. Our bodies are the biggest validation of this nemesis. It is useless and unjustified to request of each other to carry on being the same people we met few years earlier or even an hour ago.
When relationships end, it doesn’t necessarily mean a party is bad and the other is better. It could just mean we changed in different directions. We used to work out; our personalities clicked at the “match-point”. But life continues to happen, time prints its marks on our faces, and other people invade our space diversifying our perception and our needs. We become sadder or happier, wiser in our very own way, but we may no longer match. The new me, may not be able to co-exist with the new you, because we are not who we were before, but you know what; that’s OK.
It doesn’t mean I am bad or you are. It doesn’t mean I am giving up on you or I want to intentionally hurt you. It just means the circle has turned around and new era is beginning. An era where I will always have you in my mind but I won’t be capable of having you beside me. It’s a phase where others may get closer in the picture than you. I won’t accuse you of changing and you can’t either. Changing is not a crime we could hold each other accountable for. It does hurt to accept that we are no longer going to be together, but as cheesy as it sounds, nothing lasts forever; even love or life, even passion, even obsession, even you .. even me!
I would never ask why we met if we weren’t meant to be. I would never wonder why you strayed away from the road we pledged to embark on at the beginning; I would never ask why or when have you stopped loving me, I would never ask questions with no context within our transient life frame.
Instead, I will be grateful for the times we had, for the memories we cultivated, for the life we breathed into people around us when we were who we used to be together. I will accept that our circles collided and hitched for a certain distance. I won’t try to erase you from my past, because I will be distorting my present and future, I will be deforming myself. And despite everything I still like “me” too. I like who I am and who I have become, and what I have now because of you.
So my friend, or love, or ex, or whoever you are, we shall move on. And I won’t tear your pictures or delete your songs. We are moving on.. no hard feelings, just wide-open arms and a graceful invitation for life: “Bring it on!”