– “Oh my God! Look how short she is. She is so thin.” (Says a guy down the street who couldn’t just swallow his tongue and die before spitting this comment out)
– “Easy girl! What’s all the attitude about, I can’t even see you!” (Says a school bully who managed to move on with her life as if she hasn’t wreaked enough havoc already)
– “Omneya? Which one? You mean that stuck up shorty from the other class?!” (Says another school colleague who didn’t even bother to come talking to me and check if I was a real stuck-up)
As I grow up:
– “We just find you a little too intense…” (says some college friends who liked me but were not able to keep up with my pace and rise up to my unyielding values back then)
– “She is a monster! She bosses people around and she likes to have her group clinging to her all the time” (says another intimidated college colleague who didn’t like the fact I was a straight-A student)
– “You are the strongest among them. It’s your responsibility to shake them and inspire them a little!” (Says a university professor who believed in me beyond all limits)
– “You are very nice, but you need to chill a little. People don’t need another person telling them what to do” (says a very dear friend who really wanted to give me a piece of advice on how to keep people around).
So what does that tell you about me? What is the impression you have formed from all these comments I recounted above? C’mon, go on and stereotype me. This is your guilt-free chance to judge me and put me within yet another preset in your head. I won’t be upset at you, and I will forgive you, because that’s the only action I was always left with, forgive and move on, or else.. I would die.
I have always been a victim of first impressions, or stereotyping, or weaker people who are overwhelmed by what they deem that strong character of mine. One time, a person would have an experience with me, passes a judgment, says it to someone else, who believes him/her, pass it on to someone else, and over a night, booooommmmm … you already have a reputation.
What was that reputation about me along the years? The short bossy conservative stuck up girl/woman from the other class (or faculty, or department, or company, you name it)!
I have come across those who chose to get closer and have a taste of what they hear about me. Some of them said: “Boy, you are completely different from the airs you spread around you. You are really nice, though you come off a little strong and you could give the impression that you are a bit arrogant.”
Others may say: “You know what! You are exactly like what everyone else is saying about you!” and then they just leave.
Some don’t say anything at all, they either stay or go.
Now what?! Should I try to explain and justify why I have accumulated such reputation over time, justify myself that is? Or should I just talk to you about how I have come to live up to it!! Lol!
Let’s just do both.
Yes, I have always been short. Check out all the psychology books, short people come with a lot of insecurities and it’s because they are made to feel that the world doesn’t take them seriously. Their reaction to this primary feeling differs from one character to the other. So for me, I am a naturally born idealistic perfectionist person. Not necessarily good, but that’s who I am. Some people are born teachers, they like to guide people and share their views on ethics, codes of conducts, and about what’s right and what’s wrong. Well, I am that person and with the Short issue, this controlling attitude unconsciously doubled.
Not because am bossy, not because I like telling people what to do and what not to do, but because I like my friends and those close to me so much, I always have this urge to always help them, take their hands and warn them and -of course- to prove myself and reinforce my character, despite my ridiculous height.
Now, when you are young, this will freak your friends away because I was also unable to control the intensity of my tone. In fact, I didn’t believe I was doing anything wrong in the first place. No one wants another mom and dad at school or college.
The reputation built up. And the more I was accused of being a stuck up for no reason, the more I shrank into my cocoon. I was crushed and I was always sad. I just wanted to disappear, I didn’t want people to see me, so at least they won’t think am an arrogant person, etc.
But college time was enlightening for me. I don’t know what happened, but like a revelation, I woke up one day and decided; Well well well! I am a naturally born leader. The more I try to stay in the shadows, the more I will be unhappy and will just watch life passes me by. And I can’t let that happen, can I?! I accepted my reputation, and actually lived up to it. And it has been a blast ever since.
Certainly work and experience have changed me a lot. I do now know how to take my position as a leader in a diplomatic way. I don’t cross my limits, and I know when to just shut up.
So…yes, I am short, but that always makes me look younger than my real age, and I just
love it. Yes, am bossy; stay away if you are scared. Yes, am a leader; follow if you want or just get the hell out of the way.