Is it a blessing or a curse?? I stand before you or you before me, I would pay anything to know what you are thinking of. But I don’t know; how about you? Do you want to know what’s going on in my mind?! I see you looking through me. That look on your face..your eyes..I can feel it; they are trying to tell me something, are they trying to unearth what am thinking of? Do you really care? Why are you looking at me like this?
I have to run away and my eyes start to look everywhere except at yours. Still, I feel you tearing everything down. Are you, actually, reading my mind??
I feel exposed and fragile. Many contradictions are building up inside, but my body doesn’t move, and my eyes come to lock up with yours eventually. I want to run away and put on a jacket, for suddenly, it’s all chilly. Yet, my feet are stuck where they are. I -certainly- want to scream: “Stop looking at me this way!”, but my lips just tremble from the cold.
I can almost hear an thundering sound inside me: “Yes, keep on breaking down all the walls!” Naked! I feel naked. Though my coat is as thick as one we wear on snowy December nights!
What is it? Stop that!
Stop making me feel all perplexed, confused .. and dizzy. For one reason or the other, I love it, however; I want to shout out: “I hate you!” Who is the book and who is the reader?! I know that I know you, yet you never seem to be understandable.
Long-ago words come to my mind: “To some people one seems to be like a book that has been read a thousand times”. So there I am. Standing before you, with all my riddles and enigmas,and my-never-make-any-sense character, knowing that you’ve read me a thousand times, and I have got nothing to hide!
Like an Octopus, I am alert to your soft creeping arms taking control, pushing me to suffocation, or all the same .. bringing me to life! Strange how silence could really be noisy! It is very annoying to be all exposed, yet unreasonably enjoyable! I want you to keep on reading me. Never stop.
I have no explanation. I have no idea why; but with all the confusion and puzzlement under your eyes, I finally have a sense of myself.
I step out of the room, with only the sound of my heels ticking on the floor. I open the door and stand for a second; do I want to go out or do I want to turn back and live inside there permanently? I step out. And the question echoes rocking my head and consuming my brain; have I just been blessed or cursed?!